Andrea's Etiquette

Rule #1

Children's birthday parties should not last longer than three hours. If guests wish to stay longer than three hours, wonderful, but the main events of food, cake and presents should be accomplished within the three-hour timeframe.

We attended a family birthday party on Saturday for a five-year-old. The invitation said the party started at 4pm, so we arrived at 4pm. Chips and pretzels (no dip), pita bread with hummus and a (one) hot hor d'oerve were served. Coke, Diet Coke, water, wine and beer were available (no caffeine-free sodas except for diet). And that was all that was served until dinner was finally served at 7:30pm. 7:30pm!! We were all ready to chew off an arm at this point. And sadly, it became a case of eat and run. As soon as we finished eating, I changed H. into her pajamas and we left. We had driven almost two hours to get to this party (and most of the other guests had driven about an hour), so we had a long drive home. We didn't stay for cake and we didn't get to see the birthday boy open his presents.

There are many things wrong with this scenario. (1) I had to entertain H. for three and a half hours at someone else's house. And H. was not the only toddler or child at the party. There were six or seven others there as well, with no organized games or activities. (2) The party was for a five-year-old, not an adult. What time does he go to bed? It wasn't going to be any time soon, after chowing down on chocolate cake at 9pm. (3) People who bring a gift to a party deserve to see it opened by the receiver. There's no rule that says presents have to be opened after cake. He could have opened his presents while we were waiting for four whole chickens to slow cook on the grill.

This party will now officially be known as The Worst Birthday Party Ever.